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30 Jul

THE F WORD.

i am so sick of the f word. let me say it again even louder. I AM SO SICK OF THE F WORD.

okay, not that f word. you know the one i’m talking about…

F-A-T.

FAT.

specifically the popular and infamous phrase: i’m so fat.

i’ve heard countless girls and women utter this very phrase for what feels like my entire life. in fact, for most of my teenage and young adult life up until recent years, i would use this f word all the time. as young as middle school, i remember always making it a goal to lose weight in the summer and come back to school thin {and tan}. welllll the joke was on me because in my family i have what we call the ‘Smith Curse.’ {Smith being my maiden name of course.} the Smith Curse was a kinder term in place of the f word that basically describes our genetic body type: F-A-T.

so for as long as i can remember, i was always… bigger. mind you, i was never the fat girl or even the chubby girl, but i remember in 5th grade being the tallest girl in my class. today i’m only 5’5 so obviously i matured earlier than everyone because i haven’t grown since. i wore a training bra starting in just 4th grade. i always had bigger thighs, even though looking back i wouldn’t yet call them ‘thick’ or ‘chubby’, just bigger than the other girls. i played sports all growing up, from basketball and volleyball to quick stints with dance and gymnastics.

still, i was bigger. or at least bigger than most girls around me.

and as i got into my later teens years and into young adulthood, fat became my descriptive word.

it wasn’t until college that i realized my size was having a negative effect on the opposite gender. i had lots of guy friends in college that were super fun to hang around, but i wasn’t the girl they asked out on dates. with pretty much every guy i knew in college, they seemed to only have eyes for the small, thin blondes. not for me, not for my type.

because i was fat.

i wrote a boy for two whole years while he was abroad. i was a 20-year-old girl and very naive when it came to ‘love.’ before he returned home, i had the mindset that if i just kept running on the treadmill, if i just burned off a couple hundred more calories each day, then for sure he would marry me because i would be more of an ideal size. i didn’t want to be thick or curvy or fat. i wanted to be like the girls who always got asked on dates. i wanted to be “normal size.”

that makes me so sad to think about now, that i honestly thought there was a normal size or that the word beautiful meant thin. but i know so many girls and women have this mindset. if i can just be {insert size here}, then i’ll be happy/successful/desirable. if i’m not fat, then everything will be perfect!

HARD STOP.

let’s stop and think about the F WORD for a minute. it’s such a harsh, ugly word, so why would we ever use it to describes ourselves? in our head or out loud, it’s harmful to our emotional health and inner happiness. and because everyone’s version of ‘fat’ {or ‘beautiful’ or ‘normal’} is so different, it’s such a deeply flawed measurement. remember, you can have fat, but you are not fat. 

i am kind, sassy, intelligent, loving, pretty, creative, sexy, and million other things. but i am not fat. i have fat {as do all humans, some more than others}, but i am not fat. i will not describe myself as something so demeaning and derogatory as the F WORD.

and neither should you. so stop using it! stop making it something so common and casual, yet so hurtful. i promise when you stop using it against yourself and instead replace it with words that actually describe the kind of human being you are, your world will change.

people ask me all the time how to gain confidence or start feeling more positive about their body, and it honestly comes down to your attitude and thinking. sure, diet and exercise can and will help, but pushing out negative thoughts is key and so important to learning to love yourself.

so from now on, think twice before you decide to describe yourself or anyone else with the f word. it’s so very harmful to your self-love journey. and you’re so much more than that. xx

p.s. Robbie wrote the absolute sweetest caption tonight on a similar subject and i’m still swooning. so lucky to have a man who has loved me and celebrated me for who i am since the day i met him. <3

|| I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as “chubby” or even “fat.” Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah. ||

A post shared by ROBBIE TRIPP™ (@tripp) on

citrus one piece swimsuit {bikini version here}
rose gold layered choker
wood colorful bracelets c|o gold & gray
Morange lipstick

robbie’s pink swim trunks
pastel tank top

photos by Kailee Judd

35 Comments
  • Kat Hessman

    What a beautifully written, amazing post, Sarah! I’m sick of the F word too and too many ladies describe themselves with that F word when they’re healthy and/or skinny and/or have beautiful curves! All body types are gorgeous. Celebrate the curves :) So happy to see you both beaming off the (virtual) pages here with your fabulous positive energy. You’re so inspiring! So much love to you lady, thanks for sharing your story! Xoxo Kat

    July 30, 2017 at 8:40 pm Reply
  • Tanya

    Thank you for your amazing honesty! I’m so glad to have stumbled across your blog, you are a phenomenal role model for all women, especially those of us that don’t fit that ‘mold’ – I am in awe of your confidence and body positivity and am making it a serious goal this year to try to embrace my curves, my imperfections and let go of the ‘f’ word in the amazing way you’ve expressed above! Thanks for sharing your story and being such an inspiration to the rest of us!

    July 30, 2017 at 9:19 pm Reply
  • Angella Michelle

    This is such a beautiful post! So joyful that you exist, and exist in San Francisco none-the-less! It’s great to relate to a beautiful woman who gets it. You continue to inspire me in all of your posts & photos, so empowered by you and Robbie! PS: You are tan ;)

    July 30, 2017 at 11:45 pm Reply
  • Laurient

    I love this post! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and sharing your story. I think it’s so important for young girls and women to read this and understand that the F-word is more damaging than they know. I’ve more recently gotten to a place where I accept and love my body and I’m happy to say that you and your blog are a big part of that!

    July 31, 2017 at 7:50 am Reply
  • Genevieve Gamboa

    This is something that’s really important to me because my story is similar to yours. I felt unhappy with my body from a very young age and felt I needed to change it when really I was just growing into my body.
    But I also feel like having such a strong stance against the word fat gives it too much power over you. I agree that it’s important to love our bodies and unlearn all the negative thinking about them. But I also think that there’s something even more important than that which is not letting our appearance affect our view of our own self worth. We are so much more than our bodies, than the way we look. For many reasons as women, we are much more prone to this than men are. It would sound a little silly to say “every man is handsome” even though “every woman is beautiful” sounds empowering. men can be overweight, and not care much about their appearance and still be viewed as successful by society. It’s not usually that way for women too.
    I’m working towards a place where I can say that yes, I am a little fat, and yes I am beautiful, but neither of those things have power over how I feel about myself. Because I am so much more than that.

    July 31, 2017 at 7:56 am Reply
  • SABRINA TAN

    Such a great message! You have a great man! Mine is the same. I have to stop using the F word.. esp on myself.

    Sabrina | Gypsy Tan
    http://www.gypsytan.co

    July 31, 2017 at 8:20 am Reply
  • Jessica

    You are not even close to fat! You look amazing and beautiful in that suit and in everything you wear. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
    xo Jessica
    http://www.whatsfordinneresq.com

    July 31, 2017 at 8:21 am Reply
    • Katy Ashton

      If she was fat that would be ok though.

      August 7, 2017 at 2:48 am Reply
  • Nataly

    I love this post and you! You are gorgeous both inside and out! It is so important to share your story! I agree our society has really inflated the way that we think of our selves and others.

    P.S. This suit looks amazing on you!

    July 31, 2017 at 8:21 am Reply
  • Britt+Whit

    Girl you look amazing! Agreed on the “F” word – a man probably came up with that! You are rocking that suit and we are 100% behind this message about loving your body and yourself! You have to before you can ever find someone who will love you! I really hope young girls find this post as I am sure so many are going through the same journey that you did and having you to help give them perspective would be so important. Also – that suit is fab!

    love,

    Britt+Whit

    July 31, 2017 at 8:22 am Reply
  • Carol

    You look great in that bathing suit!

    July 31, 2017 at 11:06 am Reply
  • Bri Rios

    You are gorgeous inside and out! Thank you for making it your job to help spread body positivity and inclusivity :)

    July 31, 2017 at 12:00 pm Reply
  • Barbara

    I loved the story and the post just is about all ladies … thanks for bringing this up.. really appreciated

    July 31, 2017 at 12:54 pm Reply
  • Sam

    I love this more than words can possibly express. Thank you for sharing so honestly, and girl, you are so lucky to have that husband of yours! What a man :) I was also an early bloomer, reaching my current 5’4″ around fifth grade and one of the first to need a bra too, so I totally relate to your story. Our society definitely has such stigma around being “different,” and it’s easy to put the blame on brands and magazines, but I think you’re right that it starts and ends with how we talk to ourselves. My body has changed since I entered my 30s and it’s definitely taking time to adjust how I feel about myself. Negative self-talk can be so harmful, and as much as I know that, it takes a conscious effort to stop it before it starts. Thanks for your wise words and the important reminder that we are all beautiful.

    xx
    Sam

    July 31, 2017 at 1:13 pm Reply
  • Melissa Damon-Moore

    This is a beautiful post and thank you for writing it. We need to hear this more often and by the way you look beautiful in this suit :)
    x
    Missy
    http://popofstyle.com

    July 31, 2017 at 4:21 pm Reply
  • Megan

    Beautifully written Sarah! Such an important message for young girls to hear. Loving yourself no matter your body type is so important! You also look stunning!

    xo megan

    July 31, 2017 at 4:42 pm Reply
  • Rose Hunter

    I love it. Beautifully said, and so so true. Thank you for this 💕

    July 31, 2017 at 6:40 pm Reply
  • Tabitha Faith

    This was such a good post, Sarah! And I loved the caption Robbie wrote for you. My husband thinks the same way. You are so encouraging! Keep up working those curves and being amazing!

    July 31, 2017 at 8:04 pm Reply
  • Amanda | The Golden Girl Diary

    Well y’all are so adorable and I loved this post! Beautifully said, Sarah!

    xo, Amanda | http://www.thegoldengirldiary.com

    August 1, 2017 at 10:27 pm Reply
  • April

    I think you’re drop dead gorgeous girl friend! You and your husband are so cute together.

    April | http://www.thebluehydrangeas.com

    August 1, 2017 at 11:00 pm Reply
  • Patrick

    Seriously… What the hell is wrong with people? Insecurity breeds jealousy and the anonymity of the internet allows cowards to shame what they do not understand. Sarah – you are dignified, wonderful, and beautiful. Thank god for every inch of your curves. Robbie is blessed to be with a woman such as you. The haters have nothing – you have everything.

    August 2, 2017 at 8:13 pm Reply
  • Anna English

    That print is so cute!

    August 3, 2017 at 9:24 am Reply
  • Sarah K

    Always! We’re all perfectly made and as my husband says.. “Meat is for the men, bones are for the boys!”

    August 3, 2017 at 1:27 pm Reply
  • Kelsey

    You are so gorgeous and such an inspiration to us all!! xo Kelsey | http://www.chasingcinderellablog.com

    August 3, 2017 at 6:18 pm Reply
  • Caitlyn

    This is so crazy to me to read a blog post on exactly how I have felt my entire life. I was never fat when I was younger, I was just taller than the other girls and developed early. However, when you’re constantly surrounded by skinny girls it’s hard to see the beauty of your own body. Recently, I’ve tried to lose weights but throughout this whole processes I’ve really just learned that I’m more than a number on the scale. This post eloquently sums up what it’s like to be so different from the widely accepted body type-skinny! Thank you for your inspiring words!!

    August 3, 2017 at 7:06 pm Reply
  • Kari-Mari

    Absolutely love this. Thank you !!!

    August 4, 2017 at 9:50 am Reply
  • Amanda Cavoto

    This post has turned my whole day around. I’ve spent the whole day calling myself the F word. Now, I am seeing this post by a gorgeous woman who’s body type is pretty much exactly like mine. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this. It is just what I needed today.

    August 4, 2017 at 7:55 pm Reply
  • Stephanie Yeboah

    There’s nothing wrong with the word fat.

    Only negative people with negative mindsets about fat have something horrible to say about it.

    I’m also a plus size blogger, and i’ve come to embrace the word. Why? because it’s just a word. It’s a word that describes a body type, like thin, athletic, short, tall etc. I’m fat. So? I don’t see it as negative, but that’s just me.

    August 5, 2017 at 9:45 am Reply
  • Kristine Davin Vik

    I got to disagree with you on this. I am fat. Yes, I have fat on my body, but being fat is also a descriptive word for how I look. However, fat is NOT a synonym for ‘ugly’! The fact that society believes so, won’t make me stop using that word, much like how I won’t stop calling me a feminist just because the majority of uneducated people thinks it’s a synonym with man-hating-lesbian. Take back the word, don’t avoid it. Avoiding it won’t make the negativity go away.

    August 5, 2017 at 8:25 pm Reply
  • Kathryn Ashton

    Or… you could change your thinking on the word fat. Stop thinking fat is bad or wrong and start thinking it’s just a word to describe a body. Reclaim it and shake the negative stigma. The only people who shouldn’t be calling themselves fat is people who aren’t fat. There are lots of fat people in the world and they are fat in addition to being lots of other things including worthy of loving themselves and worthy of other’ love. It doesn’t matter if you have fat or you are fat because fat isn’t bad or wrong.

    August 7, 2017 at 2:43 am Reply
  • Genevieve Rosales

    Well said Sarah! You have literally brought tears to my eyes because I relate so much to your experience as far as body image. I am shorter and thicker as well. I was previously in a relationship with someone who constantly called me the f word, put me down, and even laughed at me…I struggled to become the “thin girl” and always wished I were someone else in a smaller size. I would constantly label myself as the f word and felt so ashamed. I would go on crazy, fad diets just to see if I could win him over, accept me for who I am, that he would marry me, but after finally realizing he could not love or accept me for who I am, I left him. During my journey to self-love and realization, I ended up finding the sweetest, most caring, funny guy who accepts me for ME. I am so relieved to have come across your beautifully written blog on positive self image and a love for fashion for I too share the same interests! Kudos to your wonderful husband for sharing his love and devotion to you so whole-heartedly and publicly!! Thank you again so very much for sharing your story. I will continue to follow your blog!! :) :)

    August 7, 2017 at 2:07 pm Reply
  • Karlee Andrews

    I love this post so much! I feel like we all have an “f word” in our lives, whatever it may be, that we use against ourselves. I attack myself for my skin and I know that I need to stop because it only pains me and hurts my self confidence. Thanks for telling your story Sarah! It’s inspiring to all of us!

    August 18, 2017 at 1:14 pm Reply
  • Kendra Mcginnis

    I have never read something so true to my life. I’m a thiccer person but I feel the pain of not receiving attention from guys because I’m not skinny or blonde. I agree its important to focus on what we are and not what we aren’t. Thank you for sharing!

    September 25, 2017 at 9:12 am Reply

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