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10 May

relationship Q&A: our 4th wedding anniversary

today marks exactly four years we’ve been married and exactly five years from our first date! yes, May 10th will always be such a special day to us because it holds those two occasions: the day we first met and the day we married one another a year later.

our wedding day is without a doubt one of the happiest days of our lives; we still love to reminisce and talk about it. we don’t have everything figured out in our marriage/relationship, but we have loved learning and growing together since that day four years ago. i’m so thankful for our love and it’s been so fun to see how it’s changed and evolved over the course of our relationship {you can read about how our love story began here under the ‘Becoming Mrs. Tripp’ section}.

here’s a quick plug for all of our blog posts regarding our engagement/wedding:
engagement photos
engagement video
first look & formals photos
wedding day photos
the wedding day video
the reception video

robbie and i talked a lot about what we wanted to post today, and we decided to open it up to all of you! we receive so many questions about our relationship and we figured this would be the perfect time to do a full Q&A all about it! i asked on this Instagram post for your questions and many of you DM’d me your questions as well. we wanted everyone to feel heard and included in this special day for us, so we answered as many as we could! so without further adieu…

How do you mange working together so well as a team, but also deal with personal life mixed in?
Sarah: after all these years, robbie and i have realized how well we compliment each other because we are total opposites when it comes to our work ethics. we are obviously both go-getters and very motivated, but in different ways. robbie is the creative director/deals with the business side of things much better than me. however, i do a lot based on emotion and wanting to work so hard to please a brand or client so it’s successful for everyone. robbie can do hard conversations… and i tend to shy away from any confrontation. so, we do work well together in that way!

but in all transparency, sometimes it is hard! sometimes i want robbie to just be a supportive husband and not a creative director who makes decisions for our business. the line between work and personal blurs so easily in what we do, but we’ve tried to be more aware of it as of late and balance things out better. it’s all about finding that work-life balance, which is really difficult when it’s your own business together. it’s a work in progress!

Do you have any fun low-budget date night ideas?
Sarah: there’s nothing we love more than a relaxed date night: making dinner together {or ordering pizza} and snuggling up in bed to watch a movie. ice cream is always involved too!

Robbie: Date nights don’t have to break the bank! Some of my favorite times with Sarah have been when we go for an evening walk and chat about everything under the sun. Then we come back home and make dinner before getting cozy and watching a movie.

As someone who’s about two months away from tying the knot, I don’t want my expectations to keep me from being content with what I have. What advice do you have for someone adjusting to married life?
Sarah: communication is key. a man will never know what you’re thinking, so tell him! the easiest way for things to get bitter is if you stay silent. i really had to work on open communication when we first got married {and still do sometimes}, but it’s seriously one of, if not the most, important part of any relationship.

When you and Robbie were dating, how did you manage to stay confident and feel good enough for him?
Sarah: as a curvy girl, i’ve had my fair share of not feeling good enough for a guy. but robbie never ever made me feel that way. from day one, he worshipped my curvy body. in fact, when we were first dating i was at my heaviest weight ever. he never made me feel like i wasn’t good enough for him, he always made me feel like i was everything he ever wanted. having that type of love helped me feel the most confident i had been up until that point. it was so refreshing for a man to finally love me for exactly who i was, curves and all. never settle!

Robbie: It’s so important for all the single ladies out there to know that there are a lot of guys out there like me who prefer curvy women. It may not feel like it sometimes, but trust me, we’re out there! You might just have to do a little more digging. Like Sarah said, you should never have to settle. Find someone who is obsessed with you and celebrates every inch of your body. Every person deserves a partner who thinks they’re flawless.

If I remember right, Robbie said he knew you were the one right off the bat, so my question would be, when did you know he was the one you were going to marry?!
i swear it’s the most cliché thing to say but it’s so true: when you know you know. the way he made me feel, the way he made me laugh, the way he was so selfless to do anything that made me happy, the way he always communicated exactly how he felt and never made me guess… i just knew.

How do you keep the spark in your relationship alive?
five years into our relationship and four years into our marriage, the spark has never left! we’ve never been more in love than we are today. and yet, we’ve seen it all from each other: the good, the bad, and the ugly. that’s marriage to us: seeing all aspects of someone and making the decision to love them no matter what. we always try to make time to just be together. that might include dates nights, that might include sexual intimacy, or that might include just holding each other in bed after a long day and talking about everything that’s on your mind. it’s all about making time for the others’ needs and wants!

Robbie: Keeping that spark that makes relationships fun and exciting isn’t reliant upon one thing, it’s made up of a bunch of little things. I do the dishes and fold the laundry and make Sarah breakfast because I love her and want to take care of her. Sarah cleans the bathroom and cooks dinner and gives me hugs and kisses because she knows I appreciate it. Those are the little things that keep the spark alive in our marriage. A lot of people think about sex when they think about keeping the spark alive but that’s only a part of it. When your marriage is focused on serving each other, everything else just falls into place.

What are some common issues that Team Tripp faced/faces in a relationship and how did you resolve those?
Sarah: like most marriages, our biggest fights have always revolved around two things: family and money. anyone who has been in a serious relationship knows that blending families can be hard. robbie and i absolutely love each others’ families but naturally we were raised differently and so it’s hard sometimes to combine what you were taught and what he was taught. however, as our relationship has grown, we have made a pact that we won’t talk bad about each others’ family. if we need to discuss something, we do so in a positive light where we can discuss it, not argue about it. we aren’t perfect with this method, but it’s been such a better and more positive way to discuss things.

when it comes to money, i would guess that almost every couple ever fights about finances. while we don’t fight about money in the way that we used to when we were first married, robbie definitely has to remind me frequently that saving for a home and not a handbag is the right thing to do. i used to get {and still sometimes do} really defensive about how high the credit card bill was {#fashionbloggerprobs} and even argue that since it was my blog money i should be able to spend it how i wanted {i can admit now that was very WRONG}. we’ve never had separate bank accounts since being married and since we’ve run SRL together since day one, it’s always been our money. when we get into fights about our finances, we always work things out. it’s important to remember that every couple fights and we are no different. i think what sets us apart is that we can’t stay mad for more than a few hours and we are both really good at owning up and apologizing when in the wrong. forgiveness is just as important!

What kind of boundaries protect your marriage? I.e. boundaries between parents, family, friends, etc.
Sarah: this is a gooood question and we both think it’s important. i answered above how we set boundaries on how we talk about each others’ families respectfully. we set boundaries on what we share online and what we keep private. we have learned the hard way that we need to have boundaries on what friends we let in our inner circle and what we share with them. we also have boundaries for how we treat each other as well. for example, the words ‘shut up’ have always been off limits in our home and during fights. boundaries are very important for maintaining balance.

Did you live together prior to marriage and was dating life vastly different from married life? How did you transition and navigate those life changes?
Sarah: we did not live together prior to marriage! in fact, i will take it even a step further and share this: due to our religious beliefs, we both had never had sex before marriage either. so yes, in some ways dating life and married life were vastly different. however, in other ways, they weren’t. as i mentioned above, we were married exactly one year after our first date. that gave us plenty of time to get to know one another deeply: our quirks, what stresses the other out, what makes us happy, etc. in my opinion, there’s nothing better than married life and sharing your whole world with the love of your life. marriage is a learning process in some ways, but working together to make each other happy has the greatest reward!

Robbie: I’ll be honest and say that I think our generation has it wrong when it comes to dating and marriage. There seems to be a strong belief that you have to date someone for a couple years, live with them for a few more, and then marry them after a lengthy engagement. I’m not judging anyone at all and I know each couple is different, but I’m a firm believer you can know if someone is the one very quickly. I knew Sarah was the one the first week I met her in person! The other common thought many people have is “How you can marry someone you’ve never had sex with?? You don’t even know if you’re sexually compatible!” I guess I understand where people are coming from because sexual chemistry is indeed a real thing, but I think most of that chemistry comes from learning, listening, and loving. If you have your partner’s best interest in mind and make it your mission to make them happy, everything will fall into alignment.

What are your love languages and how do you show love to each with love languages?
robbie’s love language is definitely words of affirmation. because he’s so talented with words and puts a lot of emphasis on expression and that shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone. however, i still have to work on that because i’m not always the best at communication. i’ve come a long way in our relationship, but sometimes he has to gently remind me.

my love language is quality time. most people would probably assume it’s gift giving, but in all honesty i’d prefer to buy myself exactly what i want haha! however, i’m huge on spending quality time together, preferably without phones. there’s nothing i love more than being silly together, having deep conversations, or just holding each other. together, i would say we are also big on physical touch too. we always have to be touching, holding each other, etc. i’m sure our families thought we would grow out of that after the newlywed stage, but here we are five years later and still can’t get enough of each other!

How do you balance it all {work, family, marriage, home, bills, etc.}. I feel there are times in a marriage where real life takes over and it can be easy to get lost in it all and at times, lose sight of each other, making time for everyone and everything else but each other. You two have a very busy, go go go lifestyle so would love your insight!
let me just say right off the bat that it’s HARD. i know so many people probably think we make it look easy, but it’s important to remember that my blog and our social channels are highlight reels. i try to be open and vulnerable to connect with all of you, but there’s still so much of our life we don’t share. we always try our hardest to keep each other and God as our number one focus. that being said, i don’t think there’s any real answer to that question other than making the most important things a priority. one of my favorite quotes from Thomas Monson, the leader of our church who recently passed away, is: “never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

When are you guys planning to have kids?
Sarah: this was probably the number one question we received this week haha! we very much want a Baby Tripp in the near future! we’ve talked a lot about it and both feel as ready as we will ever be to be parents. we have a few exciting things happening this year that we can’t quite share just yet and of course we are leaving the timeline up to God. short answer: yes, we will most definitely be having kids in the near future. we can’t wait for such a blessing in our life!

Robbie: I just hope that our daughters look exactly their mother. It makes me so happy to think of little Sarah doll faces running around our home. :)

How do your faith and standards fit into such socially demanding careers? Have you seen challenges because of it and how do you as a couple encourage each other to keep those standards?
Sarah: great question. we definitely have boundaries to navigate when it comes to our faith. for example, we don’t work on Sundays. however, lots of events and trips for work make it difficult sometimes to observe the Sabbath as we’d like. we do our best and we feel God understands that. our friends know we don’t go out on Sundays, a lot of brands and hotels know we don’t drink, i don’t wear immodest clothes that don’t fit my standards, etc. robbie and i have always been on the same page when it comes to faith, so i think that’s been super helpful as we work together and support each other in our decisions.

Did Robbie see the Sassy Red Lipstick vision from the beginning? Or did he have to come around to the idea?!
Sarah: he 100% saw it from the beginning! in fact, he’s the one who forced me to stop wishing and finally start my blog… as in he logged onto my Facebook and posted that i was thinking about starting a blog, because he knew all the support would encourage me to do it! i had been reading blogs for years and really wanted to start my own fashion blog upon returning home after living in NYC for a summer. with robbie’s help {he built my first site/took all my photos/etc}, we published SRL together and we’ve been running it side-by-side ever since. i couldn’t do what i do without him!

Robbie: When you have a wife as gorgeous as Sarah who is so naturally confident and fashionable, all you need to do is give her the tools to be successful. Sarah is a born natural and that’s why she’s so successful. It just so happens that this industry needs a lot of tech know-how and entrepreneurial acumen and I’ve loved building SRL with Sarah every day for the past five years. I think a lot of blogger husbands end up working with their wives because the women build it on their own and it becomes so successful that they need an extra pair of hands. As for me, I started this with Sarah from day one and have been her co-founder and creative director from the jump. It’s so awesome to look back and see how far we’ve come.

What advice do you have for a single, curvy girl, looking for someone to adore her the way Robbie adores you? With you two living the fairytale, it gives me hope of finding a love like yours.
Sarah: just like we mentioned above, never ever settle!!!!!!! i can’t emphasize that enough. you will find the man of your dreams who will love every inch of you, but it might just be when you least expect it. i met robbie two months after i had my heart completely broken and he came out of nowhere. in fact, i was planning on moving to NYC for the summer and clearing my head from the dating scene. i started dating Robbie just two weeks before i left so our entire first four months of dating was long distance. that’s not what i had in mind, but that’s how love goes! obviously it was meant to be. don’t settle, be unapologetically you, and you’ll find that special someone when the time is right.

Robbie: Physical attraction is typically the first spark in any relationship. That’s just how humans work, especially guys who tend to be very visually driven. If someone doesn’t want to date you because you’re curvy, their loss! They don’t know what they’re missing! Haha. Seriously, don’t even worry about it and don’t take it personally. Not everyone is your cup of tea and you are not theirs. Finding the one is all about dating lots of people and learning what you don’t like so when you finally do find that person who is so unbelievably easy to be around, it’s so obvious.

Was Robbie your first love? Also, how did you personally know that it was the right time to marry him and begin your lives together?
Sarah: no he wasn’t, actually! i had a serious relationship in high school that continued a bit into college and another relationship that tugged on my heartstrings throughout college and lasted for years. that being said, the love between robbie and i was so so very different than the love i had ever felt from anyone else. there were no games, total adoration, clear communication on feelings at all times, etc. to this day, robbie always tells me how he would literally do anything for me and i’ve never questioned that; after everything we’ve been through these past five years, i believe it and always will. there’s no comparison between the love we have and the love i had in the past.

As dreamy as it looks to work with your hubby 24/7, I think I would want some space to create separate from my man at times if I was doing something similar. How do you two support each other’s passions outside of SRL?
Sarah: totally! however, i wouldn’t say i need space to create away from him, because we love working together and building what we have. but i definitely think it’s healthy to have space when it comes to every day life outside our careers. i love going out with girlfriends for lunch/spa days, going to get my nails/hair done, going to workout by myself, etc. i do take work trips without robbie too, and that’s always a great time for him to work on his writing alone at home. we probably spend more time together than the typical husband and wife, but we only need a few hours a day to ourselves. we really have always loved spending all our time together so this lifestyle works great for us.

Robbie: We support one another whether we’re together or not. When I gave my TEDx talk, Sarah was front row center smiling at me the whole time. Likewise, when Sarah flew to New York to be involved with a major video campaign for a global brand, I was texting her for updates and letting her know I was beaming with pride from across the country. Honestly, we spend so much time together and support one another so much that there doesn’t feel like much separation between our accomplishments. We are happy when the other person is succeeding and that’s what matters. Some people may feel they need more of a differentiation between their work and their partner but that’s never been the case in our relationship. We truly enjoy being a team in all aspects.

Do you guys ever ugly fight? I can’t imagine that happening because your so great together i would assume you may only argue but even that doesn’t happen often.
Sarah: haha this question made me laugh as soon as i read it. i’ll just be honest… YES. of course, we are only human! also, we work together so right off the bat there are lot more opportunities for fights than the average couple haha. of course we’ve had fights we aren’t proud of but like i mentioned above, we have always been really good about apologizing and forgiving quickly.

Robbie: I think it would be worrisome if a couple had never ugly fought haha. Part of being in a committed relationship is seeing every aspect of someone and that includes the ugly parts. We’re all flawed human beings and our capacity for anger, pride, bitterness, and sadness is part of having feelings and emotions. Sarah and I have certainly had our fair share of shouting matches and emotional bumper cars, but like she said, it’s all about how you react when it’s over. For us, we’ve never let any fight, no matter how big, impact the way we love each other. Also, let’s just be honest… the best sex always happens after the worst fights. #keepingitreal

Did any of your initial individual life goals change or evolve once you guys got together?
Sarah: i knew i wanted to work in the fashion industry somehow and here we are! it’s been amazing to create a niche for myself in this industry. i also never could have predicted we’d move to San Francisco! we always knew we were going to move to California but i always assumed it would be Southern. lots of unpredictable things happen over the course of a relationship and life always seems to have plans of its own for you haha.

Robbie: To be honest, I think one of the reasons we’ve been successful is because we’ve always had goals and we’ve always stuck to them. Of course no one can plan for what life throws at you but we are where we are because we always wanted to be here, if that makes sense haha. I never felt like I had to sacrifice any individual goals for Sarah. Being married gives you more motivation to accomplish your dreams and making each other happy becomes the ultimate goal.

floral embellished dress
pink suede Louboutins
crystal earrings are from my wedding {similar here}
Fiore liquid lipstick

robbie’s pink blazer
robbie’s pink pants
robbie’s striped pink shirt

photos be Alexis Exstrom